Luisa is in the Bahamas and I am not. I’m not bitter though because, from what I hear, it’s an ugly place with horrible weather and sub-par cocktails. People hate the Bahamas, right? I’m sure it’s the least popular vacation destination ever.
On the other hand, Minneapolis is probably the most popular vacation destination. We have unpredictable weather and dirty dishes and loud children and a piece of frozen tortellini that skittered under the fridge and could not be reached. Who doesn’t love all those things?
I don’t generally resent Luisa’s trips because she usually goes to places in Africa that barely have electricity. But the Bahamas? I’m a little jealous and also a little worried that she’ll stumble off the plane with a wicked tan, a tattoo on her bicep that says “Jessie’s Girl” and no recollection of anything but palm trees and poolside cocktails.
Also, this week has been rough. The parenting part has been fine for the most part. Sure, I burned toast, forgot an activity, raised my voice a few times and had that incident with the tortellini but that’s pretty good. The work part has been horrible, however. Almost everything that could go wrong at work went wrong spectacularly this week. Things are getting a bit better but not much. I have survived, however, and because I love you I want to share my helpful tips for coping with anxiety.
1. Pick up a new hobby like biting your fingers down to the second knuckle.
2. Pace. A lot.
3. Repeat “oh my god oh my god oh my god” while doing either of the above.
4. Eat cheese.
5. Pretend you don’t have a job.
6. Stay up late and get up early. Sleep deprivation always helps with anxiety.
7. Avoid every single thing that can be avoided.
8. When you can’t avoid something completely, procrastinate dealing with it until the last possible moment.
9. Get caffeinated lattes at 5:30 p.m.
10. Pretend you are in the Bahamas.
I haven’t been writing because I’ve been busy doing all those things. BUT the good news is that it is Thursday and that means it’s almost Friday and that means that the weekend is almost here and that means that this week is almost over.
So, let’s move the fridge and get that piece of tortellini and – well, let’s just throw that away. Then, let’s hope that next week is better!