The Bride’s Drunk Cousin Will Ride Again
Thank all of you who voted for my blog in the Lezzy Awards. The final vote counts are listed below:
Parenting/Wedding
| # | Site | Conf. | Uncon. | DQ’d |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 7 | Up Popped a Fox | 498 | 118 | 0 |
| 8 | Lesbian Dad | 697 | 189 | 0 |
| 9 | Irreverent Mother | 346 | 86 | 0 |
Blog of the Year
| # | Site | Conf. | Uncon. | DQ’d |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 25 | Dorothy Surrenders | 1154 | 349 | 0 |
| 26 | Grace the Spot | 648 | 221 | 0 |
| 27 | Up Popped a Fox | 442 | 78 | 0 |
I wanted to post the results because I am very proud of the showing this little blog made. I’ve been blogging in relative obscurity for some time now and this was big time exposure for me. So, thanks to all of you who voted! If you were here in my cube with me, I would give you a hug and a kiss. Actually, I probably wouldn’t because I’m shy. So, I would offer you my paperclips and I’d give you free envelopes courtesy of my employer. Or…I could buy you all a cup of coffee though I probably couldn’t afford 498 cups of coffee. In reality though, there were probably only about 4 of you voting with your 100 different e-mail addresses so I could probably spring for a cuppa joe for each of you.
You know…if The Lezzies were like the Olympics, I would be getting silver and bronze medals which would be pretty darn exciting! Truth be told, I prefer silver and bronze to those gaudy gold medals. Gold makes me think of Mr. T and those big chains and chest hair. Lots of chest hair. You probably have to have chest hair to wear your gold medal and I don’t want any part of that. Plus, as a loser, I don’t have to worry about those endorsement deals. I don’t want my face on a Kellogg’s box and I don’t want to walk the straight and narrow path because I wouldn’t be able to smoke pot with Michael Phelps anymore and I’d probably have to get a beard. Not the facial hair kind, the “I’m a lesbian pretending to be a straight girl” kind of beard. I don’t know a lot of men so I’d probably have to start taking Miguel to my promotional events but that would be weird because, you know, he is 7. People would start thinking there was something fishy going on there and then there would be an investigation and, even though it would be clear that I was innocent, I would end up in prison. Luisa wouldn’t be able to visit me in prison because she’d be busy with the kids and all the things that I normally do to keep things running smoothly at home. Things like, sitting on the couch editing movies about Easter candy and writing silly songs about Easter candy and downloading iTunes. She would probably write me letters, though, on little scraps of tear-stained paper and the notes would say, “Why Vikki? Why?” and I would have no answers for her. So…thanks for voting for me and, most importantly, thanks for saving me from prison.
In all seriousness, I have wondered, at times, why I blog. I know I like to write but why do I put my life out here for anyone and everyone to read? I don’t know…maybe I have a secret exhibitionist inside me. There is one thing I know for sure…I get a big kick out of interacting with all of you. In the end, it is about the connections I’ve made here. So, let us all join our virtual hands and sing “This Little Light of Mine”. You start. No? Yeah, I’m not really into it either. So…would you like a paper clip?
Posted: February 19th, 2009 under Uncategorized.
Comments
Comment from megdezutti
Time February 19, 2009 at 12:47 pm
You will always be MY top Lezzy! I may have to make you a trophy out of paperclips, wood scraps, left over ribbon and a hot glue gun. I may have to send it off to your house so you can display it in a place of honor. I may have to renew my vows with Gregg just so you can sing at our wedding and we can get more people to come by billing “2nd place Lezzy” as our wedding singer.
Comment from Vikki
Time February 19, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Polly – I’m glad that I could make you snort. Thanks for your kind words and support.
Meg – I’d rather be a “2nd place Lezzy” than a second rate one! So, that billing will work just fine for me! ha ha.
Comment from Raechel Polanski
Time February 19, 2009 at 1:58 pm
I haven’t read those other blogs- geez, who has time? I’m just catching up on all your archived blogs so I can understand your references now. Oh, but my point was that I just love reading your entries! I laughed so hard and long reading about your tender feet on the pebble-y surface at the pool in Portugal I almost couldn’t breathe! I have had that exact same tenderfoot experience (although, regrettably not in Portugal)
Good for you! You should be proud!
Comment from Vikki
Time February 19, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Raechel – I’m glad you are sticking around. Don’t worry about getting my references…I have no idea what I’m talking about half the time. As for the tender feet – I’m glad that I am not alone. If we go back to that pool, I’m wearing boots.
Comment from esther avery
Time February 19, 2009 at 3:17 pm
you know, i can tell, you wrote this totally off the cuff in some weird hypomanic stage. and it is one of your best posts i have ever read i am laughing so hard i am farting in the kitchen with no one to blame but me because the dog is dead.
Comment from Chris
Time February 19, 2009 at 3:37 pm
I’d say you pulled off a hell of a showing! Good job.
Can’t wait for the peep show. The one with the marshmallows 
P
Comment from Vikki
Time February 19, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Esther…you know me so well.
Chris – I should have promised marshmallows in my campaign. Darn it.
Comment from Kelly
Time February 19, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Just goes to show, all roads lead to prison! You have once again proven your theory!
Comment from Anthony
Time February 19, 2009 at 5:09 pm
To my very very favorite silver medalist lesbian–Congrats to you for your wonderful showing. You should be proud. Polly is right, too, in saying that your faithful readers get a huge kick out of interacting with you. I do. We do. We all do.
When I think of other notable silver medalists–Nancy Kerrigan, Michelle Kwan, Jackie Joyner-Kersee (she went on to win 2 golds)–I find that it’s all about the class and style that you bring to the competition, not just the winning.
Drunk cousin or not, you bring a lot of class and style.
Comment from Meghan
Time February 19, 2009 at 9:39 pm
Well, I think you did very well! Good thing you don’t have to go to jail! That was so funny! This post proves why you got to the finals! You rock!
Comment from Katherine
Time February 20, 2009 at 10:51 am
Cyber kisses and cyber hugs from me to you since I won’t get them the other way around. I still think there is some book deal lurking in your future. I know you say you don’t have the time to write a book. But this book deal would come with a huge advance and you would be able to write when you are not busy with facebook or squishy yellow birds.
Comment from Susan
Time February 21, 2009 at 6:56 am
so it’s not “if you give a moose a muffin,” it’s “if you give vikki a lezzie,” huh?
Comment from leigh
Time February 21, 2009 at 6:53 pm
i just read this post and will go back and read others comments after i post
once again – you made me smile out loud..and laugh…
no crying this time .. but they would have been tears of joy if they had fallen
it gave me chills … your post….it did…in a good way 
keep writing please…you make my day and i too feel connected with you all in a way that is always only positive and nourishing
congrats!!! to you and to Polly!
peace & love
leigh
Comment from Elizabeth
Time February 21, 2009 at 10:07 pm
Totally off topic- Did you know that Mr. T won’t wear his chains anymore? After becoming active in helping hurricane Katrina victims he said he couldn’t justify wearing all that money when there were people without food, water, clothes or a roof over their heads. I think he might have given in and worn them for some ad work, but he gives a lot of money to Katrina and other humanitarian stuff.
Pingback from Up Popped A Fox » Thank You
Time April 16, 2009 at 8:40 am
[...] I have so much to be thankful for in that regard so I had to participate. You have supported me in good times and bad, in sickness and in health – yes, it’s sort of like a marriage except that we [...]
Pingback from Up Popped A Fox » Stuff I Learned Over the Weekend
Time February 16, 2010 at 10:51 am
[...] year, I saw myself as the bride’s drunk cousin in the Lezzy Awards but this year I want to win. There, I said it. Yes, I’m shamelessly promoting myself and I [...]
Comment from Polly
Time February 19, 2009 at 12:03 pm
First off, that title made me snort my coffee out through my nose, which act, whether or not it happens in front of computers coast-to-coast, is the most frequently cited descriptor for utter hilarity and my favorite.
Second off, YOU ROCK!
Third off, we all get a big kick out of interacting with YOU.
Fourth off, last year I was a bride’s maid. So mebbe next year the drunken cousin will not only ride, but leave hoof-marks all over the wedding party. I myself am trembling in giddy anticipation of the prospect.
Yer fan, the one who paid off a coupla hundred more people than you did.