Friends
Recently, I was listening to Brandi Carlile’s song “That Year” which she wrote about a friend of hers who killed himself when they were 16. The song is a beautiful tribute to friendship but also to accountability between friends. The more I listened to it, the more I thought about my own friends. I have close friends who have known me since I was 18 and still see me regularly. They knew me when I had an enormous perm, when I wore penny loafers and a shirt covered in ducks. What they know about me goes beyond the changes in my physical appearance and style. They have known me long enough to see and experience all of the versions of me there have been over the past 23 years and I know them in the same ways.
There is something comforting about friendships that stand the test of time. Old friends keep you humble - they can always dig up an embarrassing picture from the past or an equally embarrassing story. But you can also look into their eyes and know that you are seen in all of your complexity. You can make mistakes. You can take humor too far. You can forget something important or fail to comfort your friend when they need it most. None of us are without fault and, sometimes, the best we can do is to accept responsibility for what we’ve done. Old friends know that your imperfections are nothing compared to the rest of who your are. It’s faith earned.
To all my old friends who read this, I love you.
Oh…and if you don’t comment, I’ll find an embarrassing picture of you to post because my love knows no bounds.
Posted: November 10th, 2009 under Uncategorized.
Comments
Comment from Lara
Time November 10, 2009 at 9:36 pm
I don’t see you as regularly as I’d like, and I’m not old 
, but I love you anyway. Lara
Comment from Laura
Time November 10, 2009 at 11:00 pm
I’m only commenting because I’m worried about the embarrassing pictures you probably have of me. I’d get you back though. Blackmail is what old friendship is really all about, isn’t it? Seriously, though, I love you too. It’s been so wonderful to keep up with you through your blog and an occasional fancy cocktail.
Comment from Vikki
Time November 10, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Friendship and blackmail are forever entertwined. It’s true.
Comment from Danja
Time November 11, 2009 at 7:22 am
I’d claim that I have no embarrassing pictures, but we all know that just ain’t so. The best thing about “old” friends is that they’ve stood the test of time. The occasional foot in the mouth is fodder for future giggle fests – not an excuse to avoid phone calls.
Comment from MB
Time November 11, 2009 at 7:37 am
I agree that old friends are wonderful. I love the shared history and being known to each other.
I don’t remember your perm but I do remember the duck shirt. I might even have some pictures of you in it?? My favorite men’s flannel was plaid.
Comment from amyk
Time November 11, 2009 at 8:36 am
Ahh the formative years. And I’m certain we all thought we were style stars at the time. I’m commenting not because you will post an embarrassing picture of me – you already did that. But because, after oh so many years, I still enjoy listening to(reading) what you have to say.
Comment from Esther Avery
Time November 11, 2009 at 11:55 am
I have known you for 12 years and i still don’t count as an “old friend”. go figure.
Comment from Kelly
Time November 11, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Old friends of this sort are what I’ve come to know as “chosen family.” So wonderful to be surrounded by them!
Comment from Amy
Time November 11, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Very good post Vikki. And for those old friends of mine out there, this next comment won’t surprise: “perm” – does this count for the scavenger hunt?
Comment from Eliza
Time November 12, 2009 at 1:50 am
I knew you at 18–you were very specific about when you’d wear the snowflake shirt–but then missed the next 20 years. I’m very glad I’ve gotten reacquainted with you through your blog.
Comment from Anthony
Time November 12, 2009 at 11:06 am
I miss you a lot. I wish I could see you more. Your blog keeps me connected with you, though, and sometimes, when I am reading, I can almost hear you telling the story. Your humor, your insight, and your cleverness are only a few of the reasons why I love you and appreciate you. Here’s to old friends…
Comment from Vikki
Time November 12, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Perms counts Amy…and I think you are the only one playing. ha ha.
Comment from AA
Time November 10, 2009 at 9:00 pm
I still have not found my duck shirt (or possibly shirts I seeem to remember 2). I did find a lovely red shirt with moose and bears on it this weekend when cleaning out a closet to move. I loved wearing that shirt.