Unamused

crabbywinterYesterday, I had one of those days that lulls you into thinking that, despite bone-chilling temperatures, you are going to be just fine.

The kids woke up with smiles and we made it through the morning routine with little nagging and we headed out into the subzero temperatures but were properly dressed and I actually thought, “It is just not that bad!”

And then something happened. I’m not sure exactly what – maybe I looked at the extended forecast or maybe my shoulder started itching or something.

All I know is that my mood plummeted and I could not seem to recover.

My lunch was horrible (tepid leftover tortellini that I ate while standing at the kitchen counter).

I ate a brownie (which was delicious but I had promised myself I wouldn’t have any more brownies so obviously I am a horrible person for giving it to such temptation).

The phone rang and I answered because it was a local number and I was worried it was school but it was actually a robo call that started, “Dear Senior Citizen…”

I then sat on the couch vacillating between feeling lonely and missing Luisa terribly and feeling irrationally angry that she was in the Bahamas and could probably feel all of her toes.

And then I got my period.

After going back out into the tundra to pick up the kids, I started dinner and then texted Luisa to inform her that my day sucked and that I wanted a glass of wine but couldn’t have one because I had to go BACK OUT INTO THE COLD to take the kids to the school play and GRRRRR and WHINE and UGH and, in texting with Luisa (and Esther and Deborah – all the wives!), I realized that I was also mad at myself for being so crabby. Why? Because I quit my soul-sucking job and am living my dream dammit! I should be happy all the time! But who can really be happy all the time? Labradoodles maybe but they don’t seem that bright.

My mother would have told me to “suck it up” and “get over it” so I tried. I made dinner and I took the kids to the play and I laughed and I came home and got the kids in bed and cleaned up the kitchen and got coffee ready and went to bed.

This morning, I woke up in a tentative peace with life and I tried not to grind my teeth to dust when I saw that the air temperature was -14. Being able to feel your toes all the time is overrated, right? Then, I had to scrape the windshield and, in that brief time, Miguel and Zeca got into a brawl in the back seat of the car and, as I watched it unfold through the car window, I thought, “Here we go again. Another day like yesterday.” So, I got in the car and growled at the kids and Zeca tried to explain why she knocked Miguel’s head into the window (he breathed on her) and he tried to explain why he whacked her in the head (because of the window thing) and then I said “I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT” and it was quiet which was nice because I wanted to be able to seethe in peace.

But then Miguel began singing the National Anthem in a Chipmunk voice and I started to laugh. And then he started singing the National Anthem as Beyonce and Zeca joined in and they did the most hilarious vocal runs and then I joined in and we all sang as Beyonce and, by the time I dropped them off at school, we were all laughing.

And now I am curled up on the couch under a wool blanket and Momo is on my lap and the day feels pretty good. The morning was one of those reminders that my kids are often a great source of stress with all the energy they require but they are also the best damn things to have happened to me.

What would my day have been like without two little Beyonces and the rockets red glare?

For a less grumpy post, check out my post at Lesbian Family this week: If You Give a Kid a Muffin…

 

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25 Responses to Unamused
  1. Mom Off Meth
    February 1, 2013 | 10:37 am

    My mama never ever told me there would be days like that, or the ones I’m living. But they are days. And that’s good, right? Yesterday I drove in my car for FOUR HOURS and never left the Twin Cities. I looked at it as an opportunity to practice singing. I am not a singer. But I was yesterday.

    • Vikki
      February 1, 2013 | 10:57 am

      Four hours?! You have my sympathy. I do love singing in the car though…

  2. Megan
    February 1, 2013 | 10:52 am

    And then I got my period.

    There it is right there. Whoremoans.

    • Vikki
      February 1, 2013 | 10:57 am

      Ha. YES. And then I get mad because I’m such a cliche.

  3. Jen
    February 1, 2013 | 11:20 am

    Yesterday, I woke up, realized I had no coffee, tried to make espresso in the NEW espresso maker for the first time but somehow managed to spill half the contents of the coffee grounds all over the floor, and the espresso tasted like crap. Clearly I needed Ethan around to help me. My morning continued in a crappy way…

  4. weese
    February 1, 2013 | 11:20 am

    you really live in minnesota? hmm why did i not realize that sooner. wow. minnesota.
    ok i think you should move.
    move here! you will love it. we live by the beach. and while it is rather chilly today, its above 0 for crying out loud.
    (plus we are trying to get all the good lesbians to live out here)
    at the VERY least – how about a car starter!

  5. bisquiat
    February 1, 2013 | 11:39 am

    If this wonderfully written entry is the result of a bad day, I selfishly wish more of them on you. But you can have weekends off.

  6. katie
    February 1, 2013 | 11:41 am

    this is what i keep trying to explain to my wife about why we should start making babies – they’re not stress-makers (well, sometimes) – they’re happy-makers!

  7. Jasmine
    February 1, 2013 | 11:42 am

    We’ve been recovering from the flu death plague… and I kind of feel like I hate everyone and I want pizza and beer. Thanks for sharing. It feels good to know I am not the only crabby schlepping around.

  8. Terri Sonoda
    February 1, 2013 | 12:41 pm

    Even with my empty nest, I still get days like that. They don’t come often, thank goodness, but when they do I grump through. They do make me appreciate those extra special good days a lot more!

  9. Megan @ The Nerd Nest
    February 1, 2013 | 1:08 pm

    I feel a little guilty that your bad day helped make mine a good one, but this post is hilarious!

  10. Shannon
    February 1, 2013 | 1:09 pm

    That sounds a lot like my day yesterday. And, I, too, get aggravated with my self because I have no apparent reason to be unhappy or grumpy (not even a period).
    But today is better. And now I’m going to go watch The Chipmunks.

  11. Erin@MommyontheSpot
    February 1, 2013 | 1:17 pm

    Sorry to hear that you are having such a rough day. Whenever my husband goes away on business (especially if it’s somewhere warm), I always get a little crabby. I mean, he gets to stay in a quiet hotel room and have all his meals made for him.

    I also feel that crabby for being crabby feeling. I mean, I get to hang out the kids. And they’re pretty awesome.

    But a lot of work. So I guess what I am trying to get around to saying is that go easy on yourself. It’s cold. You started your period. And you are taking care of the fort all by yourself.

  12. Meg
    February 1, 2013 | 1:35 pm

    You should totally get a remote car starter! It is one of the best things I’ve ever bought. No more scraping the window. Set it to defrost the night before and let the wipers do the work. If you do have to scrape it won’t be nearly as bad. Do it!! ;)

  13. Clare
    February 1, 2013 | 7:11 pm

    So it was real Beyonce singing? They weren’t just lip-singing in the back seat?

  14. Sandi G
    February 1, 2013 | 8:02 pm

    Sorry that you had such a rough day. :(

  15. Lady Jennie
    February 2, 2013 | 2:19 pm

    Oh goodness, that day sounds like one of mine (including the brownie and the ensuing guilt)!

    But thank goodness for Zecas and for Miguels and for chipmunk national anthems.

  16. LizC
    February 2, 2013 | 7:43 pm

    If you give a kid a muffin…………he’ll have a treat for lunch, but if you teach a kid how to make a muffin…….he’ll make a mess of your kitchen!

  17. Dina
    February 4, 2013 | 2:42 am

    That reminds me of when I left my previous (shitty) job for my current (much less shitty) job and I had a minor emotional breakdown. I guess some part of me was expecting things to magically get better because I was out of the shitty job. But my current job has bad days too, and it’s actually more intellectually demanding than my last job. I found the transition really hard! But I did come out the other side much happier, so there’s that. :)

  18. Galit Breen
    February 5, 2013 | 6:51 am

    I pink puffy heart you, even on bad days. xo

  19. Laurie
    February 5, 2013 | 7:21 am

    Winter is long, even for Labradoodles.

  20. Nichole
    February 5, 2013 | 11:56 am

    I want a brownie.

    I’m sorry you had a rough day. The next time my husband’s out of town and I’m crabby, I’ll revisit this post to remind myself that At Least I Don’t Have to Scrape the Windshield.

  21. michelle
    February 5, 2013 | 1:51 pm

    oh dear.
    i could tell by your reply to my comment of me being in Florida for 4 days that you are not digging this cold. who is? and brownies? yum, i’ll take a gluten-free one :) i love those moments when you can be on the edge and the kids take you somewhere else. i’d take that in the cold any day!

  22. tracy@sellabitmum
    February 5, 2013 | 9:39 pm

    I think we should always eat brownies – especially when we are not suppose to.xo

  23. Arnebya
    February 11, 2013 | 12:30 pm

    I keep trying to tell myself to just get over it but myself is not listening; she is such a rude teenage-like wench. I keep thinking if I get out of the job I despise and into one I adore (or, if it were possible, no job at all) everything will be ok. But then I realize that I seem to have a penchant for bitchfests regardless of happiness level. And now I want a forbidden brownie.

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